she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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