Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
