I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
