Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
