i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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