Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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