Soap is not a condiment
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
