I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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