It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
