Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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