Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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