Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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