Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Randomize
