Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize