found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
