If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
