Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's just like the Real World with babies
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
