Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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