grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Your mouth is God's brothel.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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