I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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