I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
