i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
