Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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