She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
