i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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