but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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