I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
