I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
