great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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