I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
