I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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