i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
