The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
