Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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