her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize