Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
