I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
