so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
