Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
