you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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