We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
