Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
