Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
