Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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