At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
