Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize