you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
