i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize