He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
