this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
