May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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