actually, I'm a sock model
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
