He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
