Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
