Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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