Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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