so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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