oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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