Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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