she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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