my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
