Don't make out with my wife yet
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
false alarm, still single
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