After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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