My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
