Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
