Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
