Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize