I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
