My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
