is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
