My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have already put on my inside pants.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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