she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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