Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
