i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
