we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
